A group calling themselves the True Russian Orthodox Church were recently forced to leave their fortified cave, where they had hoped to await the return of White Jesus. It appears the cave was close to collapse, which the cult leader took to be a divine message that maybe staying holed up in a cave waiting for Jesus wasn't such a great idea. Other divine messages may have included the Almighty smighting their holy DVD player, and the supernatural noxiousness of brother Igor's farts. I really wish cults would stop putting a definite date on the apocalypse. It's preposterous enough that you think Jesus, or Elvis, or space aliens races with names suspiciously derived from Star Trek are coming for you and your brethren. Just tell us the apocalypse is coming at an indeterminate time, and society at large will leave you alone. We may even abstain from firebombing your compound.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Russian Doomsday Cult decides to give up on the whole doomsday thing.
A group calling themselves the True Russian Orthodox Church were recently forced to leave their fortified cave, where they had hoped to await the return of White Jesus. It appears the cave was close to collapse, which the cult leader took to be a divine message that maybe staying holed up in a cave waiting for Jesus wasn't such a great idea. Other divine messages may have included the Almighty smighting their holy DVD player, and the supernatural noxiousness of brother Igor's farts. I really wish cults would stop putting a definite date on the apocalypse. It's preposterous enough that you think Jesus, or Elvis, or space aliens races with names suspiciously derived from Star Trek are coming for you and your brethren. Just tell us the apocalypse is coming at an indeterminate time, and society at large will leave you alone. We may even abstain from firebombing your compound.
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